“of chocolate and dog farts,” a poem

I walked into the pet food store to buy treats for my pup
and purchased one resembling a peanut butter cup.
I gave her half – she loved it! – then I put the rest away
reserving it so she’d enjoy it on another day.




Late that night I woke to hear a strange sound near my head.
It was my puppy, coughing and dry heaving in my bed!
She kept on gagging through the night, and when 3am came,
somberly I wondered if the dog treat was to blame.




Was it really safe for dogs? Did I misread the sign?
Perhaps it was a human treat that had chocolate inside!
I did the only thing I could (I hadn’t slept all night!) –
I picked up the remaining treat and took a tiny bite.




It turned out to be “carob,” which has a chocolate taste.
That meant I hadn’t poisoned her!  Her gourmet treat was safe!
When morning came, I brought her to the veterinarian.
He diagnosed her kennel cough and prescribed medicine.




Everything was going smoothly during her exam
until I was informed she had “expressed her anal glands.”
(If you don’t understand the term, I hope you’re not faint-hearted;
basically it means that she got nervous, so she sharted).




They took my pup and cleaned her up and sent us on our way.
I brought her home then hurried to the office. I was late!
Sleep deprived and frazzled, I spilled coffee on my shirt
and smelled like rotten Starbucks the entire day at work.


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