Despite having to work early the next morning, we impulsively decided to visit the mall at 11pm on Thanksgiving to observe the Black Friday festivities.
I brought the P.I.G. but that was a stupid move on my part. Everyone at the mall was in a shopping frenzy. If I had made them wait while I counted change to pay from my piggy bank, I am certain I would have been shanked right in the check-out line. Thinking I could use P.I.G. to make a purchase on Black Friday was a delusional oversight.
But my piggy bank has very hard, sharp ears, and as I struggled through a mass of overzealous shoppers I realized that if things got ugly, P.I.G. could serve as pretty respectable weaponry.
In addition, if I were to find an exceptionally good bargain he could provide a little extra pull in securing my purchases. You know, just, like, a little friendly assistance in persuading the other shoppers to stay away from the really good deals.
As it went, P.I.G.’s services were not needed (neither financially or violently). I am glad he came along for the adventure, though. There is no other ceramic animal I would rather had while searching Target in vain for a full-price puppy collar at 1:00am. Or while laughing hysterically at a statue in an empty parking lot (he had a “mom butt” that was fantastically humorous at 2am, but surprisingly less amusing when recalled this morning as I was getting ready for work).
I am so glad P.I.G. could join me for all this Purely Impulsive Gallivanting.