At work one afternoon, I started dreaming about cupcakes. I wanted cupcakes so bad. I was debating in my head whether or not I should run to the store and get some. And I was thinking to myself, like, “Dude, you should do it, and I bet they’re on sale ’cause it’s the day after Memorial Day.” I didn’t even tell anyone what I was thinking.
And then I swear to you, a customer walked by and said “Hey. Cupcakes are on sale today. ‘Cause it’s the day after Memorial Day.”
Have you ever had a customer randomly walk into your office and tell you that?
I was totally convinced. “I am going to have cupcakes & coffee!!!” I told everyone in the office. I was so excited. I was so so so so excited. I was as excited as Rebecca Black is about Friday.
I ran to the grocery store next door, bought my cupcakes, and started brewing a pot of coffee in the break room.
Right as my coffee was ready, I noticed one million ants invading the coffee machine. Maybe two million. THREE MILLION ANTS, coming from beneath the coffee maker.
I had no idea where all those ants came from. They weren’t there on Friday. They must have come in over the three-day Memorial weekend. I imagined in my head a little ant updating his Facebook status like this:
‘Cause ants use Facebook, right?
My spirit was crushed, demolished, flattened, DESTROYED, because I was really looking forward to my snack. I had even bragged about it to my c0-workers. If I didn’t have cupcakes & coffee now, then I would be a LIAR! I briefly considered drinking the ant-infested coffee in order to maintain my integrity, but ultimately decided against it.
And then – just then – as my world was crashing down – as things were hopeless – while I was an unintentional liar who would be forced to enjoy discount cupcakes without any coffee – just then – at that very moment –
Husband walked in the front door of the office; unannounced, unexpected, and as a hero, BRINGING ME A LATTE!
I exploded with happiness and enjoyed my lovely afternoon snack. This all happened within a literal 10-minute span, one event right after the other. And it goes to prove that the entire world really, truly, actually does revolve around me and my stomach’s happiness.