Monthly Archives: June 2011

AND WHILE WE’RE BEING HONEST ABOUT OUR CRANKINESS

I asked Male Co-Worker to change the huge 5-gallon Culligan water jug, because the one that’s up there now is empty. And maybe I could change it myself, maybe, but I wouldn’t know because I will never try it. If … Continue reading

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let the guilty pooper confess!

The toilet is clogged at work, and you know what? I’m not unclogging it! Everyone thinks I should do it. They think it was my fault because I’m the one who discovered it. But it wasn’t me! Actually, the only … Continue reading

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that someone is not me

Somebody’s spoiling the chihuahua, and it’s not me.  When I got home from work she was all alone, lounging around like this: You should know she’s not allowed in our bedroom when no one is home. Someone let her stay in … Continue reading

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“gut feeling,” a poem about renal lithiasis

Thirteen times did Husband vomit Sunday afternoon, and since then only bland foods in our home have been consumed. He felt a sharp pain in his side that would not go away. It prompted us to visit our physician yesterday. … Continue reading

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fun with names

I have a customer who’s last name is Buchholz.  It kinda sounds like “buttholes.” Good thing his first name’s not Harry. I also knew a girl with the last name Runsifer.  Sounds to me like “Rumpsniffer.”  I haven’t thought of a fun first … Continue reading

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cupcake/coffee conundrum

At work one afternoon, I started dreaming about cupcakes. I wanted cupcakes so bad. I was debating in my head whether or not I should run to the store and get some. And I was thinking to myself, like, “Dude, … Continue reading

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what i’m doing with that education

Yesterday, while eating at Moe’s Southwestern Grill, I was approached by my former college professor. He asked, “So what do you do now?” And I answered, “Just eatin’ as much Moe’s as possible!!!” This man… educator… Head of the Department… former police leader… … Continue reading

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this little piggy went to market

Yesterday when I got home from work at 5:00pm, Husband was soundly sleeping. I left him alone because I knew he woke up super early that morning and probably needed that nap. I left him there while I cooked dinner … Continue reading

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