dear 5:00 am…

Dear 5:00 AM,

It’s been a long time since I’ve been awake to see you and I remember why: there’s just nothing good going on at that time.  I know because a sore throat woke me early this morning.  Here are the only events that took place:

  • Awoke with sore throat.
  • Realized there was something stuck to my back.  It was a cough drop.  I must’ve fallen asleep with that in my mouth.  Coulda choked and died.
  • Crawled out of bed and piled on several extra layers of clothing because 5:00am is a FREEZING awful time of day.  Checked thermostat: it read 74 degrees of coldness and despair.  Florida has made me weak.
  • Blindly poured a glass of water and spilled it all over the kitchen floor.  Didn’t clean it up.  Grabbed a popsicle, crawled back to bed, and realized I couldn’t fall asleep.
  • Text messaged Husband at work because he was the only other person awake.  I told him of my woe.  His charming reply: “poops and farts. poops and farts! i love you, get some sleep.”  I fell asleep fearful I would dream about flatulence and wake up with a popsicle in my hair.

As you can see, it was relatively pointless to be awake to greet you, 5:00am.  Hopefully our future meetings will find me fast asleep.

Love, Me

This entry was posted in bathroom humor, illness, technology and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to dear 5:00 am…

  1. ambergontrail says:

    I love that your husband texts things my husband would, too. Now that I have a kid, I see 5am, 4am, 3:27am far too much and I hate nighttime.

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