Monthly Archives: December 2010

dear letters…

Dear Letters, There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna give it to you straight:  I’m breaking up with you.  Surely you saw this coming, as we’ve been meeting less and less.  But please, don’t take it … Continue reading

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dear touch typing

Dear Touch Typing, I NEVER NEEDED YOU!! My high school computer teacher said you were necessary. She was very insistant about teaching me your ways. But guess what? I never needed you! And I knew it!! Hunt & Peck and … Continue reading

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dear bathroom towel…

Are you for hands, or for bodies?  Or faces?  I don’t want to dry my hands on somebody’s face towel.  Or the one they scrub their body with :X In my opinion it should be clearly identified which towel is for guests.  … Continue reading

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dear christmas…

Dear Christmas, We had a good weekend together. People keep asking me what you brought me, and the most honest answer is “Five pounds.”  Let’s just say, I’m not fittin in my tight pants anymore.  It’s probably a direct result of … Continue reading

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dear husband…

Dear Husband, Sorry about yesterday.  Sorry for mock-threatening to return all your Christmas presents to the store because you forgot to answer your cell phone when I called you.  Sorry that I am a lousy cook and the only dinner I have … Continue reading

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dear bed…

Dear Bed, I think I woke up on the wrong side of you this morning.  Nothing bad has happened to me all day, but I’m just in an extremely foul mood.  I am cranky.  Everything is getting on my nerves.  … Continue reading

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dear family…

Dear Family, I have an idea for next year’s Christmas gift exchange.  Instead of each person buying gifts for everyone else, we should all just buy gifts for ourselves.  Like this: “The next present under the tree is to Elisa, … Continue reading

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dear ugly sweater…

Dear Ugly Sweater, You are truly horrendous.  Thank you for helping me win second place in the Ugly Sweater contest.  That was an amazing accomplishment for an underachiever and I love my dinosaur hat prize.  I’ve never felt more like a winner. … Continue reading

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dear 12 days of christmas…

Dear 12 Days of Christmas, I’ve liked you ever since I first heard you sung by Relient K. Unfortunately the tempo they sing makes it very difficult for me to keep up with all the lords a’leapin and maids a’milkin. … Continue reading

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dear weather…

Dear Weather, Why are you doing this to me?!  |:*( (I just tried to do an extremely sad emoticon to convey my feelings right now, but unfortunately I am just an amateur emoticonist. I think I just expressed that I … Continue reading

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