I am an expert at only remembering things I want to remember. This is why I have erased roughly 90% of everything I’ve ever known of any of you (sorry; that’s just what happens when you get married).
There are, however, a few facts I choose to retain, and they are as follows:
- One of you farted when you thought I wouldn’t hear it. Guess what? I heard it.
- One of you gave me a nice gold bracelet that I will be selling very soon. I will be using the cash to buy a present for Husband :)
- One of you first expressed your affections by learning to burp my name.
- One of you is now openly gay. Literally. Not my fault.
I tried to remember more, but unfortunately/fortunately this is all I could come up with. Thanks for the memories!