Dear Anonymous Bug,
I want to say “thanks” for the ruckus you caused the other night. Your timing was impeccable – it was late and dark and only girls were left in the restaurant. What a perfect opportunity to make your appearance.
The girls screamed and squealed and jumped and cursed. It was an amazing spectacle to behold and I got a lot of enjoyment from it. Mostly because I was safe on the other side of the glass door.
PS — Sorry you died so tragically :/