Dear Important Paper,
You are a very important paper and it is very important that I not lose you, so I have put you in a very important place. You are so secure in your hiding place that no one will be able to find you. Not even me.
No seriously — I can’t find you. I did such a good job hiding you, that I don’t even remember doing it. I’m just assuming that I did based on the information I have, which is 1) you are important and 2) you are missing.
I have checked all the usual “important paper” places — the refrigerator door, the bottom of my purse, and that giant stack of crap sitting in the guest room — all to no avail. Logically the only thing to do in this situation is to go to sleep. I know it won’t help me find you, but everyone knows sleep > paper. It’s just the cold hard truth.