Dear Pizzeria Door,
It is common for many exit doors to have the word “PUSH” written on them, so people know how to leave the building. Y’know, as in “Push: to press against with force in order to drive or impel.”
But when I looked up from my massively cheesy slice of pizza, I saw you and the word you so proudly proclaim: “PUS.” As in, “Pus: thick opaque usually yellowish-white fluid matter formed by suppuration and composed of exudate containing white blood cells, tissue debris, and microorganisms.”
Holy frickin’ GROSS!!!
Honestly that was the very last thing I wanted to be thinking of during my meal. Especially because I know Thomas Von Ohlen and he told me the truth about cheese. And it does involve pus.
Anyway I tell you all this, Pizzeria Door, so that you will not be offended when I do not sit near you anymore. I will find a new table on the other end of the restaurant. That is, unless you can morph your wording again to spell “US.” As in, “Us: you and I.” That’s when I’ll know we’re ready to be OK again.