dear pizzeria door…

Dear Pizzeria Door,

It is common for many exit doors to have the word “PUSH” written on them, so people know how to leave the building.  Y’know, as in “Push: to press against with force in order to drive or impel.”

But when I looked up from my massively cheesy slice of pizza, I saw you and the word you so proudly proclaim: “PUS.”  As in, “Pus: thick opaque usually yellowish-white fluid matter formed by suppuration and composed of exudate containing white blood cells, tissue debris, and microorganisms.”

Holy frickin’ GROSS!!!

Honestly that was the very last thing I wanted to be thinking of during my meal.  Especially because I know Thomas Von Ohlen and he told me the truth about cheese.  And it does involve pus.

Anyway I tell you all this, Pizzeria Door, so that you will not be offended when I do not sit near you anymore.  I will find a new table on the other end of the restaurant.  That is, unless you can morph your wording again to spell “US.”  As in, “Us: you and I.”  That’s when I’ll know we’re ready to be OK again.

Love, Me

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6 Responses to dear pizzeria door…

  1. Trish says:

    I must say..this is pretty close to my favorite story so far. lol. And thank you for making it publicly known that cheese and pus are allowed to be in the same sentence in a way that may describe what cheese involves… UCK!

  2. Christine says:

    Cheese? PUS??!! Must know more…

  3. Carly says:

    You really don’t want to know about cheese and pus, but I can relay the message if anyone really wants to know. Make sure you buy raw or organic cheese…it’s then pus free.

  4. Ben says:

    Sal’s anyone?

  5. Pingback: dear socks… |

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