Dear Proper Seating Arrangement,
We employed you today and it was downright awesome. Somehow it had never occurred to us to sit orderly in the restaurant. But your super organized fashion of “girls sit on the left” and “guys sit on the right” was totally fantastic. What’s more, all of the people who were sharing a check were seated by the people they were sharing a check with. This not only made things easier for the waiter, but it also made me feel like a freaking champion.
When we accidentally sat in an order that made sense – instead of being crumpled into a disarrayed mesh of mixed genders and unclear checks – I felt like I could conquer the world. Proper Seating Arrangement, I look forward to the next time we find each other in the restaurant.