dear sleep

Dear Sleep,

I hope you get here quick tonight. Sometimes you take a really long time and I hate that. Especially when you hit Husband first, because then he’s not here to entertain me and I wind up hanging out with Internet. Actually sometimes you make Husband talk out loud while he’s dreaming and that’s awesome. You can keep doing that if you want.
 
 
Anyways, Sleep, there is something I need from you. I need you to start working around my schedule. You have to stop bugging me while I am doing “important” things like working, and driving.

And when you reach me tonight, Sleep, do you think you could bring a good dream with you? Last time you sent me one about emails. EMAILS! If I wanted emails I would have stayed up with Internet. Tonight you need to bring the GOOD dreams, Sleep. Dreams where I am rich and have chipmunks as pets and they love me so much and we hang out and drink Coke floats and are happy and laugh and dance together.

See? Was that so hard to come up with? No. So if you bring me another crappy dream about emails, I will never, ever meet with you again. Seriously. I really, really like you and I would hate for us to part ways, so I hope you do the right thing.

Love, Me

PS – In an effort to promote positive dreaming I searched YouTube for “baby chipmunk.” The top result was a video of Justin Bieber (?!).

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