Dear Mastercard Debit Card,
We have sure been through a lot together. Remember that time we bought 48 double rolls of toilet paper at WalMart? That was fun. Or that day at Taco Pancho when the cashier swiped you three times instead of once, and I ending up paying $12 for a taco? That wasn’t so fun.
I remember when you were younger and tried to run away. You took off with Florida Drivers License, but I found you hiding in the bottom of the garbage can and brought you back to me. Then I got Starbucks Gold Card to keep you company. You two must be very happy together because you have not gone missing since.
You are such a great ambassador and that makes me very proud. When I want Things, all I have to do is hand you to the cashier. You negotiate on my behalf and then I am allowed to have the Things. When you are not around, I have to resort to cash. Cash is tempermental and often disappears quickly – but not you.
You are especially helpful at the gas station when it is raining outside. Or when it’s dark out. Or when there’s frightening people walking out of the gas station holding large packs of beer and I do not want to make eye contact with them, and I most certainly WOULD have to make eye contact with them if I was forced to enter the store in order to pay for my gas because I did not have a wonderful card like you.
We’ve had some good times, Mastercard Debit Card, and I look forward to spending even more with you. No pun intended.