Monthly Archives: October 2010

dear stomach…

Dear Stomach, Let’s communicate for a second.  I know you don’t like being empty for long stretches of time, so I would like to feed you before we go out for the night.  Normally that’s not an issue, but I’m having … Continue reading

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dear stupid people…

Dear Stupid People, I don’t know how, but I’m pretty sure every one of you within a 5 mile radius came into my job yesterday.  Or called.  Or emailed.  My poor brain was overloaded by the amount of stupidity that … Continue reading

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dear hair…

Dear Hair, Y’know that poofy, bedhead/beachy thing that you do?  I just realized it’s not suitable for the office.  I know this probably is a shock to you.  It is, after all, the only style that you know.  Please know … Continue reading

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dear refrigerator…

Dear Refrigerator, Do you think you could learn to stock yourself?  Every week I drag myself to the grocery store to get things for you, and it isn’t very fun I HAAATE ITTT. Yesterday you were almost empty.  I didn’t want to go … Continue reading

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dear pizzeria door…

Dear Pizzeria Door, It is common for many exit doors to have the word “PUSH” written on them, so people know how to leave the building.  Y’know, as in “Push: to press against with force in order to drive or impel.” … Continue reading

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dear publix hoagie roll…

Dear Publix Hoagie Roll, You should be ashamed of yourself.  Many food items have been burnt in my kitchen, but none have reacted as poorly as you. You did not need to catch fire in the toaster oven.  I know … Continue reading

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dear saturday…

Dear Saturday, You are my favorite day (but don’t tell the others!).  You are the reason I can tolerate Monday through Friday.  With you I get to have REAL breakfast, not that grab-and-go stuff like yogurt or granola bars (I … Continue reading

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dear former co-workers…

Dear Former Co-Workers, I really just want to say “thank you.” You have made me look like a much better employee than I really am. Here are some of the ways you have made me look extra awesome: 1) Girl … Continue reading

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dear flat shoes from target…

Dear Flat Shoes From Target,  You are so quiet!  You do not make loud noises in the office when I walk.  You are so much quieter than my high heels.  This is won-der-fuuuul!  This makes it easier for me to … Continue reading

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dear breathing…

Dear Breathing, Sometimes I forget how you work.  I could be doing anything, and then all of a sudden, I think “Oh my gosh! I am not breathing. Wait – How does it go again? AHHHHH.” I thought maybe this … Continue reading

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